One of the most easiest things we can do when the road gets rocky is to dismiss. Or is it?
Walking by the homeless person on the street is easier than stopping to have a conversation. Putting personal interests aside when in a romantic relationship because of time or that the other person doesn’t want to participate. Thinking we can’t get the job of our dreams because we don’t have the proper education. Looking for a new lover when the road gets rough with the one we have now. Or someone with a handicap that may not be able to do the same things we do. The list of dismissals is endless.
Taking the time and diligence to reach a new level of understanding, to know the greater depths of the relationship takes patience, courage and compassion. And this does not mean having these just for the other individual. Having patience with ourselves to take the time to learn more. Discovering the courage that lies within each of us to ask the hard questions and engage in those courageous conversations. And compassion for ourselves to know that we are human and don’t have all of the answers and DO sometimes take a wrong turn on life’s pathway.
From personal experiences when I was younger I felt dismissed many times and eventually fell into that rhythm and have been replicating those same actions unto others. Not feeling very authentic, I have decided lately to start an internal inquiry and dialogue with myself to test the waters of courage again and see what these situations might offer in reward rather than seeing the only outcome being loss and retribution. Be this in my work, in my friendships, and in my romantic relationships as well.
Curtailing the cycle of dismissal has to stop somewhere and I’m choosing to take the responsibility with my actions into the world. Choosing to ask more and judge less. To listen more intently and to see beauty and opportunity where once I might have only seen shame and discontent. Only I can can take on this challenge... as can each of us if we so choose to. Taking on 100% responsibility for our actions and our words in this world might just start to change the tide of ambiguity and dormancy.