The real meaning of what I see
Stepping into the profoundly awkward was not my first thought on Saturday morning, but I did take a step that turned out to be something much more than I had anticipated or desired. As I woke up next to my partner on a leisurely Saturday morning in Fernie, British Columbia, I put out a thought that I would like to have day that would delivery me a wonderful surprise...something that I was not going to expect. I DID, however, forget to mention the word "effortlessly" in my statement and found out how critical this simple little word might have changed the whole course of events for me.
The evening before we had all converged onto Fernie to visit our lovely friend Jane who now lives and ministers there at a local church. A few friends and my partner Blair were all traveling from the east (Medicine Hat) and I was enroute from a two week holiday in Vancouver. After a relaxing drive through mountains (and VERY effortless I might add), I found myself feeling in-between when I was in Fernie. Not really here, not really there. It was wonderful to see friends and Blair of course, but a sense of missing the coastal energy that I am really loving so much these days seemed to loom in my heart and on my mind. I was not being very focused or mindful when I grabbed the bag of things to go into Jane's apartment that morning from the motorhome, and as I stepped out onto the little step outside, my foot turned sideways and I twisted my knee and moved it out of it's proper alignment... thus gravity welcomed me with open arms and I went down like a tone of big airplane that just suddenly lost it's wings.
With bag of goodies flying, my body thudded into the ground, embarrassment rising and intense pain shooting through my leg and body... I found myself laying there on the freshly rained on grass and only thinking one thing... "start sending Reiki, start sending Reiki...". Blair was there to be by my side and asked if I was okay. I could only just say to lay his hands on my back and let's sit here for a moment. Breathing heavily and almost feeling like passing out, I sat there with my knee bent in front of me (with everything in its proper place now thank goodness) and held my hands on my swollen joint and just started to give thanks to everything and everyone; a common thing to do when initiating a healing, but it came through so effortlessly and automatically. I did not connect to: "quick, call an ambulance", or "grab me some pills", or even "shoot me now, shoot me now!!" I connected with what ever Source Energy was outside of me and willed it to surge through me at that moment and allow whatever needed to happen happen.
I began to cry, but not because of the intense pain that I felt in my leg, or from embarrassment of the moment... it was totally due to the awe I was feeling as my hands began to buzz. Then they went numb and I thought it might be from lack of blood (same as if you come in from out in the cold and your extremities warm up and tingle) but my feet felt fine and the rest of me felt fine. The buzzing intensified so much that I felt like I had my hands on a power transformer or a hive of buzzing and angry bees. (Neither of which I have ever done prior to this situation, but imagination is a very powerful thing when we engage it.) It was absolutely amazing and POWERFUL. Never before had I felt it with suck strength or consistency or magnitude. I have felt the warmth and heat and slight buzzing when I have work with patients and friends or even myself... but NEVER to this extent. All I could do was shed tears of happiness and excitement that I was indeed connecting with energy outside of me and it was flowing through me and Blair and the grass and the air. Even Blair noticed it when he touched my hands. Wow!
To that end... I know now the gift that I received that day, the surprise, and a bit more of the meaning of what I was witnessing through these circumstances and this (at first sight) terrifying event. Reminding me to be mindful of what I was doing at every moment, being IN the moment, but also noticing that the path that I am on is the right one for me. The ability to heal and be healed goes far beyond the physical though... it is mind, body AND spirit, and this renewed feeling of what IS possible has me reeling in gratitude for everything that has happened and everything that is going to happen in this amazing life we are all living. I now have a greater sense of knowing more about the meaning of what I see... a deeper (and much higher) connection that we all have with and in us at all times. Some people see god, some see bright lights, some hear voices... and I on the other hand (or both) felt the hum of a million bees buzzing and focusing me to that exact moment I needed to be in.