Today was an eye... and heart opening day. I was chatting with a Coach and friend of mine and we were discussing the fears we have in the world we live in and do they coincide with clarity. We were talking about ourselves and how we are constantly opening up to new things and new experiences and yet we draw back in fear of what the outcome might entail.
For me, lately, of course money comes up as a fear and as often as I put the fear aside, ego finds it and takes its hand and brings it back to my doorstep for me to visit with. So, one of the things that came up today was about how we allow that to control our lives. We can't, or don't, do things based on our debt. If I choose to move somewhere else, my debt will still be there just as it is here, and I will still maintain my life to break it down... and break down the barriers that hold us in the grip of what "money" does to/for us.
Beyond talking about that fear, I was also talking about my fears I have in my life as well with where I am at in my heart. I am a creative, right-brained thinker, artist, and so many other things... and I have been holding back some of these things that I hold dear to my heart to be in a place that... for as long as I have been here... I have enjoyed. I still enjoy this space, but I feel as though I am a toddler grown now into a teenager and beyond and I still remain in a playpen. Where and when do we choose to release our fears AND desires together and break down those walls to release who we really are inside?
Oil and water will never mix, nor will clarity of mind, heart and soul with fear ever mix. They remain separate no matter how you shake them up or try to turn them upside down. I think there will always be a healthy dose of fear in our lives, as we are human... this is just a part of who we are. But like our ego, we can shrink it to a manageable size and notice when it is trying to take control. I am on a journey to discover this... and may be for a while, but, as they say, it is the journey, not the destination. So often when we are in fear we want an answer NOW! We want to know what to do, what road to take, what turn to make. Today I was reminded that those are the times we might want to step aside and wait for a breath or two to enter our lungs and refuel our blood cells so we don't have a premature aneurism or something of the sorts. Take a breath and say, "I don't know."
The power of those three words can be so amazing... and I am learning to breath into them and really allow myself to start there and see where we go. If we think we have the answers all the time... who are we really helping find insight? When we as healers of our souls and masters of our destinies allow ourselves to reset our trip odometers and start fresh again can we really regain command of the steering wheel. As we are all healers of ourselves, and healers of others, we many times forget to recalibrate our sensors for the new updates released in the latest version of map-quest. :) Sorry for the tacky analogy... but yes, I hope this creates an image for you as it did for me...
When you come to a fork in the road... do you choose to pull over and maybe dig into that yummy picnic lunch you packed and refuel, or do you starve yourself and keep on keeping on hoping that you come across that town you hope is still on your map from 1965?