How do we reset after the death of a friend or loved one?
When do we call for help when we feel stressed and anxious?
Who do we feel safe with in our moments of vulnerability?
Why does our life feel harder and more challenged,
these days than every before?
Photo by Alosh Bennett (Hyderabad, India)
These are just some of the questions floating around the conscious and subconscious minds of so many individuals in this day and age. Maybe there are some ways in which we collectively, and individually, can acknowledge where we are at and possibly begin to shift what is happening in the heaviness of our lives.
This year I have experienced the passing of family members and friends and have heard stories of others' and their similar situations of people leaving. Situations where some of these individuals that had passed away were young and vibrant people only months earlier, then to be taken swiftly by some form of dis-ease, ailment or event out of their control. I have noticed the struggles of other's, as well as myself, trying to maintain daily living but also trying to "get-ahead" in the game of life, trying to save up money or establish future plans of family or home or financial security. I have felt the pain and suffering of the world within and beyond the walls of my home, city, province and country at the hands of greed, selfishness and fear. Life, these days, seems so overwhelming and claustrophobic and it's as if I'm swimming at times, and there is a heavy weight tied to my foot and I'm trying to keep afloat as it carries me down below the surface with only brief moments to surface for air.
And yet, there are moments of joy, celebration, love and compassion, shared among neighbours and friends and family. I too have felt a breaking open of hearts that have long since been hardened by life's challenges and struggles. These have been moments that I believe there is possibility of reprieve and hope within our grasp of letting that weight drag us down. I have been feeling that through moments of despair, anguish and heartache, there is an aspect of lightening and relief. But they do not come easily, and sometimes feel as though they arrive at such a high cost, and through this I have discovered a new relationship with hardship and struggle, I see the connection of my human-ness as life on this earth in this time.
To say that there is a quick fix to releasing the weight and there are specific steps to take in order to achieve clarity and peace and happiness, is to say that we might erase all of the pain and suffering and to start new and fresh... a clean slate, so to speak. But without the remembering and acknowledging of the pain and the suffering, I think we would lose a vital part of the healing and regrowth. To remember the heaviness and yield into the opposite of weightlessness. This isn't an easy thing to do, and can be terrifying for many. Just to wake up and put one foot in front of the other can be a daunting task. But it is possible... when we slow down.
Looking closer at my relationship of death, for instance, I was not taught that death is good, how death can be a transition of energy from one form to another. I was not invited to take a closer look at how I need to see past the veil of suffering and pain, and into a world of release and possible lightness. To remember, or to know, that death is not an end, but a returning to a commonality that is possibly the place we all originate from.
Could this life, and our existence in this time, just be a façade and a story?
Embarking on a journey to meditate more and take time to be with these ever happening experiences of hardship and sadness and fear, takes me into some dark places at times, but I need to move slowly and deliberately. I cannot rush through them and hope to find answers and peace. These are moments of doing less and being present to the what is. If only for a few moments ...don't rush, take my time, feel what needs to be felt. Feel the weight of my body, of the stone, of the density of the water that surrounds me. When I FEEL my surroundings and my body sensations, I can connect more openly to the possible energies that intertwine through all of these sensations... even the heavy and painful ones.
To make friends with fear can be an incredibly fearful thing to do, but it is necessary to shift the power that fear holds over us, a power that can be debilitating and crushing when it comes and comes and comes again. In these times of fear, stress and anxiety, try to move slowly and give yourself time to grieve the losses and let the wounds mend. As in our own bodies, it takes time for a physical wound to knit itself back together. Let the cells of life knit the broken edges of hurt and suffering for your life's healing heart.
...move slowly.